You can get a sense of happiness out of having a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream though it will only be for about 10 minutes however, purchasing that nice new car might leave you elated for an entire month. But what are the ingredients to true long-lasting happiness?

Researcher John T. Cacioppo, from the University of Chicago, explored the subject of happiness in a recent study which he wrote about in the article, 'In Pursuit of Happiness.' Recreating a prior population study done by CHASR (Chicago Health, Aging and Social Relations Study), Cacioppo and his team reinforced earlier findings which revealed a key ingredient to happiness: successful relationships. Cacioppo explains: People who had satisfying interpersonal relationships became happier over time whereas those who felt lonely or isolated, whether married or not, became less happy over time.

The early study concluded as well that people with satisfying personal relationships were happiest overall.

The other area that directly relates to happiness is household income. In Cacioppo's study, he found that quality of interpersonal relationships actually led to increases in household income. How does this work? Happy people form good relationships in the workplace as elsewhere, He writes, and good relationships promote better job performance, positively influence the likelihood of receiving good performance reviews and promotions, and provide better networking opportunities that lead in financially productive directions.

Essentially, fulfilling personal relationships have a huge impact on happiness, which can translate into a more positive and prosperous work life. These results suggest that sacrificing quality relationships with spouse, family and colleagues in pursuit of higher raises may be counterproductive, Cacioppo concluded. When you are happy with your personal relationships, you perform better at work … taking time to develop and maintain meaningful and personally satisfying relationships may pay great dividends.

Being a single parent certainly is not a sentence of solitary confinement or even a romantic death penalty. With the assistance of matchmaker eHarmony, tens of thousands of divorced and widowed people have discovered for themselves that dating is alive and well, even with kids at home.

Still, it can't hurt to set a few ground rules and to think through some of the issues that might arise.

Be honest from the beginning: It isn't always easy to bring up the fact that you have kids when considering going out with someone new. But your date deserves to know what to expect of a relationship with you—perhaps that you'll only be available every other weekend because of custody schedules or that your babysitter can never be out past midnight. Put it all on the table up front, and you'll avoid unfair surprises later on.

Go slow: Unless you and your dating partner are both certain you want to take the relationship in a more serious direction, don't rush to introduce him or her to your kids. Having a new adult in their lives is never "casual" to them. They will be confused by too many new faces. When you feel the time is right, keep the meeting low-key and brief, and do all you can to remove pressure from everyone. Your kids need as much time as you did to get to know someone new.

Be realistic: After introductions, be careful not to expect too much from your new relationship too soon. Someone who has never had kids will need plenty of time to develop their own relationship with your children. Remember, you didn't become a parent overnight—you had nine months to get accustomed to the idea.

Practice being more than a parent: Yes, you are responsible for children, and you take that seriously. But that is not all you are. It's okay to think of yourself a multifaceted human being also. Get a babysitter, relax, and treat yourself to an evening on the town. Lighten up and have some fun.

It is true that dating when you have kids is a logistical and, at times, an emotional challenge. But don't let that stop you. Romance awaits...just make sure you're home by midnight!

Being single gives you valuable time to reflect on the past before committing yourself to someone new. But even if you're in a relationship, you can use previous experiences as lessons for the present. If things keep turning sour, spotting the patterns can help you make positive steps for the future. Here are the four "key indicators" to look for as a new relationship starts:

1. How is the initial emotion handled?

The beginning of a new relationship can be very revealing. Think about the first few days, weeks and months when you moved from being single to part of a couple: some relationships start with intense infatuation which can often become physical prematurely with confused implications about commitment. Others progress much more steadily and rationally.

Get some relationship advice from your past and establish whether there are similarities. There's nothing wrong with strong attraction, but it's how you handle this passion that can cause a relationship to develop in a healthy or unhealthy way.

2. How quickly do things develop?

Look back to the most significant moments of past relationships: the first kiss or first time a gesture of commitment was made. By pinpointing these moments you can establish whether a relationship has progressed at an even or hurried pace.

If things are too rushed, it could suggest that one or both partners are overeager, insecure and impulsive. The most stable relationships develop steadily and gradually.

3. Who do you tend to get involved with?

People are often drawn to partners with similar flaws. Compare you past partners and identify whether their character traits match up. Before you relinquish your single status, make your potential new partner is significantly different from your last.

4. Do your partners have similar backgrounds?

As well as their personality traits, consider their family backgrounds. Do they come from broken, volatile or chaotic homes? Look at what impact this has had on your relationship.

By examining your past relationships you can help ensure a happier future.

The dating code of behavior has evolved from the rules and traditions from when your mother was dating into a more liberated movement. Whether she was wooed at a sit-in or the malt shop, dating has changed since she was your age. We have compiled a list of things that weren’t true when Mom was dating to examine the pitfalls and perks of those Casanovas before you.

You Can Make the First Move

Men, fortunately, are no longer on the hook for making the first move. It’s commonplace for women to ask men out, pay for the date or go for the goodnight kiss. You are considerably more independent than your mom’s generation, allowing you to make the first move without the risk of wagging fingers or gasping onlookers. As the traditional view of the modest lady-in-waiting fades, you can take the lead and ask for what you want - you just may get it.

You Can Have It All

It is not unusual for a woman to "have it all,” nowadays. With financial independence, burgeoning careers and growing gender equality, women can work, stay fit, volunteer, fill their social calendar and still date the man of her dreams. Nowadays, juggling the bevy of responsibilities just makes you a well-rounded, driven individual that is more likely to have interests and a life of your own. In the words of Chaka Khan, you can be “every woman.”

You Rely on Technology (Maybe too Much)

How did anyone ever get along without cell phones, e-mail and computers? Technology advancements have certainly made your life easier, but it has also changed the way you communicate. Technology is so ubiquitous in present-day life that some now elect to text or e-mail, rather than talk or meet. When communicating electronically, your intentions can be lost in translation given that the person isn’t right in front of you.

Take a cue from simpler times and get back to basics after the initial introduction. Turn your cell phones, BlackBerries and computers off, meet for coffee and put in some face time.

You Can Meet and Greet Online

Online dating didn’t exist when Mom was on the prowl, so meeting people was a lot different then. Your mom was dependent on introductions and social functions for seeking out relationships. Traditional nightspots and work environments still offered potential dates, but the old standby wasn’t exactly unique. With the evolution of Internet dating, folks now get the opportunity to see what’s out there without actually being out there. Meeting people in neighboring cities has never been easier, while a certain sense of prescreening is encouraging to those who are apprehensive. You have just multiplied your odds of meeting that special someone by utilizing this electronic resource.

The “Ticking Clock” isn’t Quite as Loud

With people meeting and marrying later in life, families come later, too. It isn’t uncommon that women and men will complete their education, climb the corporate ladder and obtain property before getting on with the happily-ever-after. The good news is that you generally know yourself better as you age, understanding your goals and defining your priorities. Therefore, you can relax and take your time, as your mate will complement the mature and authentic you.

Having a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream might create a sense of happiness for about 10 minutes and purchasing that shiny new car might leave you elated for an entire month. But what does it take to attain true long-lasting happiness?

Researcher John T. Cacioppo, from the University of Chicago, explored the subject of happiness in a recent study which he wrote about in the article, ‘In Pursuit of Happiness.’ Recreating a prior population study done by CHASR (Chicago Health, Aging and Social Relations Study), Cacioppo and his team reinforced earlier findings which revealed a key ingredient to happiness: successful relationships. Cacioppo explains: “People who had satisfying interpersonal relationships became happier over time whereas those who felt lonely or isolated, whether married or not, became less happy over time.”

The early study concluded as well that people with satisfying personal relationships were happiest overall.

The other area that directly relates to happiness is household income. In Cacioppo’s study, he found that quality of interpersonal relationships actually led to increases in household income. How does this work? “Happy people form good relationships in the workplace as elsewhere,” He writes, “and good relationships promote better job performance, positively influence the likelihood of receiving good performance reviews and promotions, and provide better networking opportunities that lead in financially productive directions.”

Essentially, fulfilling personal relationships have a huge impact on happiness, which can translate into a more positive and prosperous work life. “These results suggest that sacrificing quality relationships with spouse, family and colleagues in pursuit of higher raises may be counterproductive,” Cacioppo concluded. “When you are happy with your personal relationships, you perform better at work … taking time to develop and maintain meaningful and personally satisfying relationships may pay great dividends.”

Being a single parent certainly is not the romantic death penalty or even a sentence of solitary confinement. Through matchmaker eHarmony, tens of thousands of divorced and widowed people have discovered for themselves that dating is alive and well, even with kids at home.

Still, it can’t hurt to set a few ground rules and to think through some of the issues that might arise.

Be honest from the beginning: It isn't always easy to bring up the fact that you have kids when considering going out with someone new. But your date deserves to know what to expect of a relationship with you—perhaps that you’ll only be available every other weekend because of custody schedules or that your babysitter can never be out past midnight. Put it all on the table up front, and you'll avoid unfair surprises later on.

Go slow: Unless you and your dating partner are both certain you want to take the relationship in a more serious direction, don't rush to introduce him or her to your kids. Having a new adult in their lives is never “casual” to them. They will be confused by too many new faces. When you feel the time is right, keep the meeting low-key and brief, and do all you can to remove pressure from everyone. Your kids need as much time as you did to get to know someone new.

Be realistic: After introductions, be careful not to expect too much from your new relationship too soon. Someone who has never had kids will need plenty of time to develop their own relationship with your children. Remember, you didn't become a parent overnight—you had nine months to get accustomed to the idea.

Practice being more than a parent: Yes, you are responsible for children, and you take that seriously. But that is not all you are. It's okay to think of yourself a multifaceted human being also. Get a babysitter, relax, and treat yourself to an evening on the town. Lighten up and have some fun.

It is true that dating when you have kids is a logistical and, at times, an emotional challenge. But don't let that stop you. Romance awaits...just make sure you’re home by midnight!

Being single gives you valuable time to reflect on the past before committing yourself to someone new. But even if you’re in a relationship, you can use previous experiences as lessons for the present. If things keep turning sour, spotting the patterns can help you make positive steps for the future. Here are the four “key indicators” to look for as a new relationship begins:

1. How is the initial emotion handled? The beginning of a new relationship can be very revealing. Think about the first few days, weeks and months when you moved from being single to part of a couple: some relationships start with intense infatuation which can often become physical prematurely with confused implications about commitment. Others progress much more steadily and rationally.

Get some relationship advice from your past and establish whether there are similarities. There’s nothing wrong with strong attraction, but it’s how you handle this passion that can cause a relationship to develop in a healthy or unhealthy way.

2. How quickly do things develop? Look back to the most significant moments of past relationships: the first kiss or first time a gesture of commitment was made. By pinpointing these moments you can establish whether a relationship has progressed at an even or hurried pace.

If things are too rushed, it could suggest that one or both partners are overeager, insecure and impulsive. The most stable relationships develop steadily and gradually.

3. Who do you tend to get involved with? People are often drawn to partners with similar flaws. Compare you past partners and identify whether their character traits match up. Before you relinquish your single status, make your potential new partner is significantly different from your last.

4. Do your partners have similar backgrounds? As well as their personality traits, consider their family backgrounds. Do they come from broken, volatile or chaotic homes? Look at what impact this has had on your relationship.

By examining your past relationships you can help ensure a happier future.

It is not your mother’s date anymore. The dating behavioral code has evolved from the rules and traditions of yesteryear to a more liberated movement. Whether she was wooed at the malt shop or at a sit-in, dating has changed from when she was dating. We have compiled a list of things that weren’t true when Mom was dating to examine the pitfalls and perks of those Casanovas before you.

You Can Make the First Move

Fortunately, men are no longer on the hook for making the first move. It is commonplace for women to ask men out, pay for the date or go for the goodnight kiss. You are considerably more independent than your mom’s generation, allowing you to make the first move without the risk of wagging fingers or gasping onlookers. As the traditional view of the modest lady-in-waiting fades, you can take the lead and ask for what you want - you just might get it.

You Can Have It All

Nowadays, it’s not unusual for a woman to "have it all.” With financial independence, burgeoning careers and growing gender equality, women can work, stay fit, volunteer, fill their social calendar and still date the man of her dreams. Nowadays, juggling the bevy of responsibilities just makes you a well-rounded, driven individual that is more likely to have interests and a life of your own. In the words of Chaka Khan, you can be “every woman.”

You Rely on Technology (Maybe too Much)

How did anyone ever get along without cell phones, e-mail and computers? Technological advancements have certainly made your life easier, but it has also changed the way you communicate. Technology is so ubiquitous in present-day life that some now elect to text or e-mail, rather than talk or meet. When communicating electronically, your intentions can be lost in translation given that the person isn’t right in front of you.

Take a cue from simpler times and get back to basics after the initial introduction. Turn your cell phones, BlackBerries and computers off, meet for coffee and put in some face time.

You Can Meet and Greet Online

Online dating didn’t exist when Mom was on the prowl, so meeting people was a lot different then. Your mom was dependent on introductions and social functions for seeking out relationships. Traditional nightspots and work environments still offered potential dates, but the old standby wasn’t exactly unique. With the evolution of Internet dating, folks now get the opportunity to see what’s out there without actually being out there. Meeting people in neighboring cities has never been easier, while a certain sense of prescreening is encouraging to those who are apprehensive. You have just multiplied your odds of meeting that special someone by utilizing this electronic resource.

The “Ticking Clock” isn’t Quite as Loud

With people meeting and marrying later in life, families come later, too. It isn’t uncommon that women and men will complete their education, climb the corporate ladder and obtain property before getting on with the happily-ever-after. The good news is that you generally know yourself better as you age, understanding your goals and defining your priorities. Therefore, you can relax and take your time, as your mate will complement the mature and authentic you.

Dear Dr. Warren,

Do you think everyone has a "soul mate" out there somewhere, that individual who can complement you and fulfill you like no one else? Is there just one person who is ideally suited for me?

-Jessica, AL

Surprisingly, many singles hold to the notion--either consciously or subconsciously--that there is one perfect, preordained partner. They were made for each other, the thinking goes, and they must simply locate this person or forever feel incomplete. This thinking is fueled by many Hollywood love stories in which a man and woman are united after a series of near misses and obstacles. At long last, they gaze deeply into each other's eyes and embrace, usually amidst the swell of violins playing in the background or fireworks exploding overhead. And they know without a doubt that they--the two of them and only the two of them--were meant to be together.

Frankly, I think this idea is more fantasy than reality, more storybook whimsy than real-world wisdom. I don't believe that you could only be completely and blissfully happy with one person to the exclusion of all others. Before you call me unromantic and cold-hearted, let me hasten to say this should come as great news to singles looking for a partner. After all, I hear dozens of singles every week complain about how hard it is to find a suitable partner. And if there is just one individual waiting for you out there in the wide world, the search for each other could take a very long time. If, however, there is not a "one and only" partner, a whole range of possibilities opens up. How did I come to conclude that the soul mate scenario is a fallacy?

During my 35 years as a psychologist, I have counseled dozens of men and women who were convinced they'd married "the wrong person," but then went on to create a top-notch relationship. Of course, I've also counseled many engaged or newlywed couples who were absolutely positive they had found their soul mate only to file for divorce a few months or years later. What's more, I've worked with hundreds of people whom I knew could have been happily married to any number of people.

Perhaps most importantly, an extensive research study completed by eHarmony.com revealed why some relationships succeed and others don't. This study examined five thousand married persons and especially two hundred couples who had "highly successful" marriages. We found that there are 29 characteristics--including religious values, ambition, energy level--that determine a couple's "compatibility quotient." That is, the more two partners match on these critical qualities, the better their chances of staying happily married. If a man and woman match on a preponderance of the characteristics, it's highly likely that they will have a terrific marriage.

One, Five, or Five Hundred Possible Partners? A few months ago, I was talking with a couple of my staff members, Audrey and Mike, who are both in their late twenties. I posed the question, "How many people in the world do you think you could be happily married to?" Audrey thought for a moment and then replied, "Five. I think there are about five men out there who match exceptionally well with me." I couldn't resist giving her a good-natured jab. "There are approximately 40 million single men in the U.S., and you could be happily married to just five of them? Wow, you are particular!" She gave me a punch in the shoulder, and I turned to Mike. "Well, then, how about you, Mike? How many people could you be happily married to?" "Fifty," he said immediately. "I bet I could marry any one of fifty different women and be extremely happy." They both looked at me and I said, "I think you're both selling yourselves short. I suppose there are 500--probably more--women with whom I could be extremely happily married." "That many, Neil?" Audrey said. "Seems like you aren't particular enough."

I reminded them of the study we conducted. "Out of all the women in the world, there must be at least 500 with whom I would match on all 29 items. And there are probably thousands more I'd match with on, say, 26 or 27 items and still be quite satisfied." As I told my associates, I believe soul mates are made, not born. You start with the ingredients for a highly-compatible, successful relationship, and then you work to develop closeness and intimacy. Does this mean you lower your standards when it comes to finding a partner? Absolutely not! It simply means you "expand your field of vision."

1. KEEPING YOUR EXPECTATIONS REAL AND ALIVE

Transforming your expectations of what online dating and eHarmony is and how it works could transform your outlook and your outcome from the service. The couples in the commercials are real, there are 236 members a day on average getting married…but what did it take to get there?

eHarmony is, in my opinion, one of the ultimate ways to “get yourself out there.” My favorite metaphor of eHarmony likens the service to a party that you get invited to every day – a party where only people who are compatible with you get invited. Some days, you aren’t interested in getting to know any of the guests and would rather stand alone by the virtual punch bowl and leave early. Other days, you want to fill your dance card with the names of all your matches, and maybe get a number or two if things go well.

It takes some effort on your part to make it work. You make yourself open and presentable. It might take enduring a cycle of hope and disappointment. Perseverance, like the law of sowing and reaping, always gets rewarded.

2. FINDING A TRUE REFLECTION OF YOURSELF & HOW TO RESPOND

You went into eHarmony really hoping to find your perfect counterpart. Instead, when you click on your My Matches page, you feel like you’ve entered a fun house! Maybe you’re getting repeatedly ignored and rejected. Maybe you think “I’m compatible with these people?!” Your matches seem to be reflecting a distorted image of yourself back at you. Instead of just looking for the right partner, you also start searching for an accurate reflection of yourself.

Actually, the mirrors your matches provide may not always be lying to you. What a great chance to take a good, honest look at yourself. If you can spot a pattern in your “failure to communicate,” (or how you feel about it) you then can figure out whether or not it’s something you can change about yourself. If it’s something you can change, such as a need for character growth or an alteration in your hygiene practices, you can start working on changing it. If it’s something unchangeable, like a physical trait or disability, you can focus on learning how to accept yourself and what you have to offer a partner as you are.

3. THE WEIGHT (AND HEIGHT) OF EXTERNALS

Compatibility can be scientifically measured through the Relationship Questionnaire. Chemistry, however, is more of an art than a science. It’s subjective.

Common perception dictates that good looks are essentially measureable by height, weight and body proportion. But what about all the exceptions? Hollywood has always been populated with heartthrobs under 5’8” and divas who wear size a 12 or larger. So-called “flaws” are often the trademarks of bombshells – moles are called “beauty marks,” for instance. Their appeal is always more about “a certain something” or a confident attitude.

No one really fits the elusive mold. If you are self-conscious about your “special features,” or feel you don’t measure up to some societal standard, it may very well be that your “off” traits are what make you art and not a cookie cutter.

Whether you are a Monet or a Picasso, embrace the art in you, and there is a match who will, too – and find you irresistible.

4. KNOW WHEN TO BE OPEN-MINDED AND KNOW WHEN TO CLOSE

Embrace the art in yourself, and don’t forget to be open to the “art” in your matches. The best match for you probably won’t fill every itemized detail on your preconceived list of ideals. Most eHarmony couples that I’ve spoken with say they compromised in some area. Some took a chance and communicated without seeing a photo; some reluctantly widened their settings like distance, age or denomination to find the love of their life.

You don’t want to rule out the right one by being too restrictive. At the same time, you don’t want to break high standards that could break your heart (or someone else’s). The Must Haves and Can’t Stands are meant to be your absolute requirements. No compromising. If you really want to find long-term happiness, it is wise to take the time and energy to really think through the Must Haves and the Can’t Stands. Did you choose the right ones for you? How do you define them? What would they look like for you if you encountered them in a potential partner?

Your Must Haves and Can’t Stands will help you stick to your guns when that tempting match comes along who just doesn’t hold water.

5. AFFORDING YOURSELF AND YOUR MATCHES FREEDOM TO LEARN

It might not be easy right away to apply the Must Haves and Can’t Stands in order to discern “when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.” Even if you’ve dated or had relationships before, being on eHarmony can still change you in many ways – how you perceive yourself, what you are looking for in a partner, how you approach your search.

In previous generations, there were customs, structures, and “givens” (assumptions) in place to help people find a life partner. There was less confusion.

We have the challenge and the benefit of living in a time and society where we’re not always sure of the dating rules. We don’t always know ourselves, let alone what we want in a partner or how to get to know a potential partner. It might take lots of experiences, trial and error. This means that we risk getting hurt and hurting others in the process.

Grant yourself and your matches the freedom to make mistakes and grow from them. Letting go more easily will make you feel lighter along the way.